For Deaf Awareness Week this year, Evenbreak’s COO, Rachael Salt, shares her experience and the misconceptions about her disability.
The experience of D/deafness is unique to each individual; this is the experience of one of our team and others may have different experiences. If you are an employer or a colleague of a D/deaf team member, ask them about their preferred communication method and what adjustments they need.
Misconception 1
“You can’t hear anything”
I can hear some things – I am profoundly deaf at high pitches but can hear low sounds so that’s why it’s easier for me to have conversations with people with lower voices. My type of hearing loss means I struggle with ‘hard’ sounds like B, T, C, V.
I can’t hear a high-pitched smoke detector but I can hear our smoke alarm at home because it speaks and is in a lower pitch. I have been ‘that woman alone in a big shop whilst everyone else has been evacuated’.
Misconception 2
“I bet you can see private conversations”
Some people can – I can’t because I still have some hearing left so I use a mix of both hearing and lipreading, plus I’m not that nosey and don’t have the attention span! You also need context.
When I was taught to lipread my tutor used to read passages silently. The first time round I’d get a couple of words then when they said it again I could use the words I had seen to help me work out the context. That makes it easier to see other words because your brain knows the sort of words likely to turn up.
Once you know the context you can usually follow the conversation and fill in the gaps. For example if you’re washing your car and someone shouts at you across the road there’s a pretty good chance they’ll include the phrase ‘You can do mine when you’ve finished’ None of us are as funny or original as we think we are. 😉
Misconception 3
“All deaf people use BSL.”
I don’t because no one realised I was going deaf when I was a child, and I only discovered it when I went to university as a mature student. I do hope to learn at some point, although I have found that as soon as I learn a few signs they are gone within weeks as I don’t have anyone to practice with.
Misconception 4
“Hearing aids make you hear perfectly again”.
They can help a lot but for my particular hearing loss nothing is going to help me hear sounds that have completely gone (I have sensorineural hearing loss). I choose not to wear my hearing aids very often as I have a chronic skin condition which causes me to have repeated ear infections and I find the sounds of day to day totally overwhelming so I’m happier in my quieter version of the world.
Misconception 5
“Lipreading is all about the lips.”
I don’t just look at the lips – I focus mainly on them, but I’m also looking at the tongue, teeth, throat and your facial expressions. I will tell you if you have spinach in your teeth because I can’t concentrate on anything else if you have!
If you want to see how this looks in real life – look at your lips saying ‘eight’ and then ‘nine’ and see how they look the same on the lips (a small drop) but see they are different on the tongue and throat. When my dad had a stroke and could only make noises, I could often see what he was trying to say by the way he was moving and the expressions on his face. I can even see some accents before I hear them.
If someone tells you they are a lip reader – just speak normally, making sure you are not backlit or covering your mouth – there’s no need to speak slowly or make exaggerated mouth movements.
Misconception 6
“You’re the same amount of deaf every day”
My hearing varies depending on how bad my tinnitus is, how tired I am and what my stress levels are – I can have a reasonable hearing day one day and the next day it’s hopeless. I’m not sure if this is the same for everyone and it may be connected to my neurodiversity.
I can also learn people’s voices so I may have to lipread most of the time when I first meet you but as we chat more I will be able to ‘hear’ more of the words because I’m used to the sound they make when I can see them.
Misconception 7
“You find the “pardon” joke funny
Don’t even go there. And if you do it because you were feeling uncomfortable when someone has told you they are D/deaf– apologise quickly, graciously and without fuss. Then move on.
I’m not going to lie, there are some things I miss, like birdsong, hearing all the nuances in the music I like (yes – there were some – even in the 80’s 😉) and following along as my grandchildren chatter whilst running from room to room.
There are positives too. I think it helps me build connections; you know I have to be 100% listening to you, and I will be. I can’t ‘fake’ listening, so you know I’m engaged in what you are saying (and I love chatting!). My colleagues making adjustments makes me feel valued and appreciated at work and because I am always scanning faces I can spot team members who might want a bit of a chat or some help. My grandchildren would say a massive advantage is that I can’t hear them opening the treat drawer.
I can get lots done without being disturbed by annoying background sounds and I absolutely SMASH Whamageddon every year so long as I don’t go shopping wearing hearing aids.
And I know none of us would ever use our disabilities for naughtiness, but if someone is rude to you, being able to say ‘Sorry, I didn’t quite hear that – could you say it again a bit louder’ usually gets the result you were looking for….*
*disclaimer – not every time! 😉
Rachael Salt, COO at Evenbreak.
Read about other members of the Evenbreak Team.
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