Our guest content writer, Holly, shares her experience in the workplace as a Neurodiverse candidate, including the difficulties of getting the right support for invisible disabilities.
To say the least, it has not been a straightforward journey. It has been more of a rollercoaster ride with huge highs and lows. The cycle goes like this; I disclose my invisible disability, I get the job and each time feel like I have finally found the one that’s going to work, that enables me to move my life forward. I start the new role, and then I am told that I’m not managing to work at the required speed. Consequently, this leads to me losing my job. The same thing happens over and over again, and I often feel like I’m stuck in Groundhog Day.
Invisible disabilities
I have no trouble getting a job, but I have found that employers don’t seem to understand invisible disabilities. They see an intelligent individual who can present well at interview, articulate themselves clearly and assume that I won’t be affected by my invisible disability. They assume that if they can’t see the challenges a person faces, then they won’t cause a problem. This lack of understanding needs to change.
After I graduated university, I started the rollercoaster of job searching. I found this a really challenging experience. As I began looking at vacancies, it became apparent how many adverts listed essential skills as ‘must be highly organised’ or ‘must be comfortable working in a fast-paced environment’ or ‘must own your own vehicle’ (my Dyspraxia prevents me from driving). My heart sank when I read those adverts. Feeling despondent, I decided to volunteer my time for a Highstreet charity, in one of their retail stores. As a volunteer, I was asked by the store manager to buddy up with another volunteer who had Down’s syndrome to help her with learning her role. I really enjoyed this, and soon after I was approached by her Employment Advisor, who offered me a paid role as a Job Coach. This is an employment-based Support Worker, who works on a 1 to 1 basis with an individual to support them in learning their job role.
A few months later, having demonstrated my ability and passion to support adults with a learning disability, I was offered a post as an Employment Consultant. I was responsible for supporting individuals throughout their employment journey from job searching, until the end of their induction period. I loved this role, and it played to my strengths of being able to build a rapport with people, but I struggled to multi -task and manage a growing caseload of clients effectively. I would often find myself working during weekends and evenings to try and keep up with the demands of the role. Then my team leader left his post and I was told to cover his post in the interim, until eventually a new team leader joined. However they were not supportive, I was asked to leave, and I was devastated. I sought representation from a union who negotiated my redundancy and a suitable reference.
After I left, I threw myself back into volunteering, this time utilising my Employment Advisor skills. I volunteered for a charity where I ran a mixture of group sessions and 1 to 1 sessions focusing on preparing people for work, as well as several wellbeing groups. I was encouraged to apply for a post within the charity focusing on wellbeing support. However, I did not get it.
Soon after I applied for a role in adult social services. I was interviewed for this post, and I was offered the job. I chose to disclose my Dyspraxia and Dyscalculia at interview. This role required applicants to drive, so yet again, I explained that my dyspraxia was making learning to drive difficult. Initially they seemed flexible in their approach to my Dyspraxia and stated that they would happily make my base much closer to home. However, they moved the office shortly after I started, which then required me to travel up to four hours a day. I was exhausted from trying to absorb all the information I needed to be able to do the role. I discussed the possibility of making reasonable adjustments to my role allowing me to focus my efforts on one aspect of the role, but I was met with ‘someone should not have to pay for your shortcomings’. Rather than enabling me to reduce the number of duties I had in this role, they chose to make me a ‘champion’ for a new software package being rolled out. For someone who struggles to learn new sequences of information, this was a nightmare. They played on my eagerness to succeed and I felt unable to say no, despite my own existing challenges. Again, my Dyspraxia got in the way. My manager then started arranging target setting meetings so they could track my progress. I tried to explain that I was working at my fullest capacity, so setting deadlines for me to achieve goals was not helpful. They requested an Occupational Health assessment, but only after they told me I had to leave. This felt as though it was just another box ticking exercise, designed so they could be seen to be supporting me.
Undeterred, I applied for a role with another registered charity very close to my heart. I sent off my application and was interviewed over Microsoft Teams. This was a customer facing role that I could do from home. I thought this role sounded perfect. When I interviewed for it, I thought it was going to be focusing on supporting individuals to create and develop fundraising opportunities. However, I ended up being responsible for taking numerous calls and emails a day from customers with queries regarding their direct debit and navigating a complex database to record their communications with the charity. This time I left before the end of my induction period. Yet again, I could not work fast enough to meet the daily targets. This time I was asked to leave, before they showed me the door.
I am guessing by now, you are starting to realise that I am an extremely determined person. All I want to do is earn my own money and live independently. So, I had to make a change. Clearly paperwork heavy roles are not for me, so I looked for a practical role. I worked in a small local bakery. I thought this would suit me down to the ground. I could walk to work, and I built a good rapport with customers. I really appreciated the interview process because they offered me a trial session to see how I would fit into the role. The session took place during a quiet time and did not reflect how busy the bakery got. Fights breaking out over the last sour dough.. no, I joke, but there was a constant stream of customers and the till was too complex to navigate. My brain was fried trying to process all the information I needed to. As I was still in my probationary period, I decided to leave the bakery.
This brings me to my most recent experience, working in a local Nursery. I reached out to ask if they offered work experience placements, but they suggested I apply for a Nursery Assistant role. Initially they offered me a bank position. Perfect! Short hours, very minimal paperwork. I disclosed how my Dyspraxia affects me, they chose to go through my induction paperwork slowly, so as not to overwhelm me. I absolutely adored working with children. Working across all rooms in the Nursery made it hard for me to retain all the necessary information about the children, despite my best efforts, and there was much more paperwork than I had realised.
Two months later I was offered a full-time Nursery Assistant role. I was stationed in one room, with a supportive and welcoming Room Leader. Sadly, they were replaced by someone with less understanding of disability, who again moved me from room to room.
When I am tired my coordination can sometimes be a bit off. Numerous times, I was asked to carry children down a flight of stairs and had to explain that this wouldn’t be a good idea, which didn’t go down well (I still get heart palpitations thinking about what could have been). I began to realise that this job wasn’t going to work for me either, and I decided to leave the Nursery.
For me, I am still figuring a lot of stuff out. I’ve learnt that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I am running for team Neurodivergent. It is difficult to remember your strengths when you are rejected by companies. But remind yourself of them every day and be creative when thinking about possible jobs. Maybe being your own boss would suit you better? I contacted Evenbreak, who offered me 1 to 1 sessions to help me figure out where to go next.
Tell us about your experience of job searching with Dyspraxia; I’d love to hear from you! I can’t help but feel that there must be other people out there who have had similar experiences in relation to navigating the world of work with Dyspraxia. If you are reading this as someone with Dyspraxia, I want to share my journey to show you that you are not alone.
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